All publications of Sparsh Shrivastava . रायपुर , भारत
Tradition based Gender Distinctions and Mindsets
A Practical Analysis through common generation hurdles and most probable solutions.
Aim: Restructuring traditions and equalising sex ratio!
· The concept of relational assets and liabilities.
· The current asset scenario and females as liabilities.
· Why should we convert liabilities to assets?
· The heavenly solution.
· Scope of outcome.
Aim: Suggested modifications for reflex against Molestation and Assault.
· The mentalities today and underrated interaction based education.
· Velvet stuffed Feminism: Gender Pampering.
· Bolder attitude from females and Gratitude from males.
· Discovering the eraser to rub out fears.
· Discovering yourself as “The change makers”.
Disclaimer: The following suggestions and the reports have been created after deeply studying current trends and considering views from 3 different generations. The report below has no intentions to disrespect any gender, caste, religious belief, race, disintegrate tradition or traditional ideas. The changes have been suggested to overcome female inferiority issues and to support a joint movement to create safer aura.
Restructuring traditions and equalising sex ratio!
The concept of relational assets and liabilities.
We all have met theses two contemporary terms “Assets and Liabilities “mostly meeting the context with economic development; But going deeper through the issue of female foeticide, Parental intolerance for girl child and girl child as burden on family economy; we get a wider aspect to use and consider those words in our dictionary. Really wide!!
Whenever I feel betrayed by someone or if I face hurdles to understand human nature, I always refer to a theory. Particularly; ‘The Theory of Human Resource’. It states that “Human civilisation is based only on the concept of give and take hence human makes relation only where he could find resilience with resource and assets” This theory proves to be practical and soon you will find how this theory comes to action. By the way proudly saying, “I am the architect of this theory!”
The current Asset scenario:
Ever wondered why old parents suffer a lot (not in every case) living with the common generation? Even though long ago they have pampered their children a lot when they were parents, but now have to face unwillingness of their children to let them stay with them. There is a very practical though hard to digest fact behind this phenomenon. This is the point where the contemporary words ‘Assets and Liabilities’ and ‘The Theory of Human Resource’ acts together. So, at the very beginning when those old parents were new ones and taking care of their children, they knew that if these children are parented well and pampered now, in the future, would surely earn some gold coins and respect in society (though never confessed). Hence if you try to understand carefully ; then you will observe that in this case parents have procured their child as an asset for future which is nowhere wrong. Children are a liability for parents now but in future would become high yielding assets. This angle may sound very harsh and rude but this is the actual reason behind relations in humans. I still consider emotions and love foremost but the thing which grabs human attention is an asset. Coming back to our story, Now the children have grown up and are acting as an asset for parents, but at the same time if the frame of reference is changed then it is observed that for children now parents have become liabilities! Yes, looking behind carefully you will see that the present day children feel burdened because they feel that their parents can no more act as assets.
RUDE AND HARSH RIGHT!! Though keep in mind that this case study was taken as an example to understand the nature of ill-mannered , typical children who have no responsibility and care for their parents. The above was not meant to set a model example, such example will help you understand the nature of typical parents of a young daughter(who feel girl as burden) and after reading this you will understand the importance of my heavenly solution.
Girls as liabilities:
Now, relating the above case study with typical parents and their daughter (which they say born as curse); Such people who feel that girls are just burden on wealth, girls will not earn them, they will go to another house as bride etc. Have always understood girls as liabilities even when they grow up, whereas boy child as future asset and a bread winner. This was the exact point where I wanted you to come after understanding the relational asset concept. Probably the father of the girl is more rude on her and at times unwilling to send her to school and college as he understands that money is wasted on girls! The father always looks at the girl understanding her as an Absolute Liability . The reason is one and itself enough to ruin girl’s life : Because marriage will take her to another abode!!!
Yes , dear reader think a situation if there were no marriages and no daughter would go to another man’s abode ever in life! Then she would surely always stay with her parents and coincidentally, you won’t believe me but the sex ratio will move up to 1:1. The reason is crystal clear because now parents will equally start feeling both boys and girls as of equal asset worth. No more female foeticide, no more gender discrimination and equal social rights to boys and girls. Unfortunately these are the largely affecting corners of the traditional practice of marriage which is more than unjust, only a women will move to a man’s abode , leaving her home, parents and career dreams behind hence the society says “ladkiya toh parayi ho jati hai!”. Parents due to this tradition have always felt that a day will come when our daughter will move to some other’s place leaving us behind!
Why should we convert liabilities to assets?
But dear reader if you will look into the scene today, we can see that even majority of boys when they grow up, leave their parents at home and settle somewhere abroad or at some other city! The outcome is shockingly same as how daughters have left their parents due to the tradition, Sons do so in search of job opportunities or may be some other reason. At the end the male child which was understood as an asset now is neither liability nor an asset! Though this fashion of leaving parent’s hands is really unpleasant and disturbing.
If you notice the fact that both boys and girls have to leave their parents away, you might think that gender equality must come then! But no it does not, it’s all due to another very special tradition included in a marriage which is “Vidai” or the tradition of daughter leaving her parent’s abode. Everyone just remembers the procession of girls leaving their homes hence absolute liability. Whereas nobody remembers ever in his/her life that boys may even leave them one day and situation worsens when they even don’t talk to them after marriage.
So dear reader now just understand that if concept of “Vidai” would have missed out or would have equalised then surely the new generation would understand that their daughters and sons both will go somewhere after marriage and will still take care of us. I will further explain you my heavenly solution in the upcoming section. Though taking care of parents and loving them is all about moral behaviour , the solution is found only to let people understand the fact that marriage is just a new beginning for their children and they will still take care of them . The idea of girls belonging to husband’s abode must be forgotten to bring change.
The Heavenly solution:
After referring all the above case studies, the basic idea for the solution is that; we must equalise the tradition of ‘Vidai’. This tradition is really unpleasant and the tears in everyone’s eyes shows that the girl is leaving everything behind and moving to husband’s abode, mentality for this tradition must be changed as It is not possible to erase this. Hence what I mean by equalising the tradition of ‘Vidai’ is that both the Bride and the Groom must be a part of this procession, means the groom will also be a part of ‘Vidai’. Newly married will take love and blessings from their parents and A try must be made to make this tradition more happening and without tears. This way the partners will become successful to imprint a message that daughter and son are not represented to go anywhere or away from their parents but its just a new beginning of their life. Additionally the ones who are good and wealthy can purchase a new flat or house nearby with mutual understanding and can proceed there for a new beginning. However this solution needs further improvisations and customised grasping to imprint a better message that both sons and daughters are assets and will always take care of their parents. Further it totally depends upon morals and values of partners to respect each other’s parents.