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TROUBLE IN PARADISE
It would seem crazy that there is a pandemic and I can still muster enough ego to write about a privileged individual's personal struggle. Lol. I am writing this primarily to calm myself. I am sitting in my room, trying to finish "the secret" in a day and start preparing for my very imminent and life defining pg entrance exams. Yet, I have this really creepy and strikingly unbalanced feeling in my chest. I'm sitting at home on my bed surrounded by people I love, responding vivaciously to the incessant jokes my cousin makes. But my heart is racing and I invariably feel a tightening in my chest. I live with this feeling on a daily basis, that rationalises this question I continuously ask my psyche, " Why the hell do you live in a flight or fight mode in your own home?". And I need to figure out the answer. And this is my attempt.
I am a 26 years old. I still feel like a 15 year old weirdo teenager who gets confused between the East and the West on a map, but on paper I'm a 26 years old. Woah, this discrepancy is already dampening my spirits. Lol. But this cannot be the reason my heart doesn't seem to be on board every time I laugh or smile. Right?
Growing up, I was the kinda kid who did every thing that was expected. I was no spoiled brat, got excellent grades, and won enough prizes and accolades that allowed my parents to show me off gloriously to their peers. I took it upon myself to follow through the Indian ritual of a smartass ending up a doctor (no complaints though; I am in love with my profession). I did everything expected of me because, it never occurred to me to question the existence of the road not take . Damn it, I didn't understand the real meaning of that poem for a really long time. I also swallowed the idea of spirituality fed to me; that there existed an all knowing god, who got angry if I questioned his existence ever. I loved him because I was asked to and lived in fear of him, because it was expected of me. At the same time, I wondered the existence of the 1000s of dieties and the possibilities of their conflicts of interests on running this planet. I attempted asking these questions to few elders and was given unconvincing responses. I was cautioned against having these thoughts planted in me by Satan. So I subjugated these voices and continued unquestionably fearing and adoring God; kinda like a death eater to Voldemort. Lol. I also found it incomprehensible that sleeping beauty's happy ending was being kissed or that the glass slipper invariably refused to fit any other girl in the country except Cinderella. I mean, for the love of god, wasn't there another girl with the same shoe size in the entire land. I adored Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood; But had no idea why. They were just fun to read about; I thought. I didn't understand why Paulo Coelho would write about a veronika who decided to die; but at age 12, I declared the book as my favourite read. I imagined I would grow up and be content. That's all I basically cared about; I wanted to make it, be happy and make my parents proud. I also believed that if I made it, my parents had no option but to be proud. And then I grew up.
I guess I forgot to mention that I was a girl all along. I had also failed to recognise that I was a girl and that expectations follow us to our grave. Growing up I never dreamed of being a bride, never played dress up, in every fantastical dream I had, I beat down a group of thugs adorning my leather jacket; in every one of my dreams I saved the day. I never wanted to be a wife or have a partner. I never saw it as giving in or giving up; I just never longed for a marriage. I understood it; I also knew I would be happier without it. I never knew why, though.
So today, I'm a 26 year old doctor and all that my parents, friends, family or society can see when they look at me, is an irrational woman stubbornly refusing the glory of marriage, and preparing for a life of doom. And when they ask, " why no marriage?" , I honestly have no answers to give except, " I really don't want it. I am happier without it". And when my distraught mother suggests therapy to fix me, all I know is, " This is not an ailment to cure. This is just who I'm. And how I choose to be happy. This is as simple as tea and coffee for me. I like coffee more. I understand people who need tea, but my thing is coffee. I guarantee I would forever be blissful if I could have my coffee and nobody chastised me or tried to fix me for choosing coffee over tea. "
But the pressure is too much. It's all any aunty will talk about. My father screams at me and calls me a disgrace. My mother thinks emotional abuse and name calling can help change my mind. My friends don't understand me because according to them logic and reason seem to work against my love for being alone forever. My cousins are convinced I'm gay because why else would you not wanna have a legal document stating you are bound to another person for life. If someone isn't worried about me, they pity me. The entire world is convinced I'm ruining my life thoughtlessly and that I need a rescue. And yes, therein lies the answer to my question as to why the flight mode and the anxiety. And the answer to my friend's question when she asked me today, " but why do you seem afraid of marriage. What is the reason?"
I am not afraid of marriage. I am merely convinced it is not the path for me. I do not want it. The reason for it is that I'd rather be alone because I'm so much fun alone. Lol. I panic and worry because of an entire world built focusing on chastising and reprimanding a choice that is very normal and personal to me. I seem afraid because I live in a society that would rather assign rules to how I lead my life and not respect my choices. I'm in a constant state of flight or fight because, maybe, my subconscious perceives this incessant abhoration of my will, as a threat to me psyche. So yeah, it makes sense, that I laugh at my cousin's jokes but internally want to run away from a place that would yield zero respect for me or my achievements if I'm not attached to a man. I understand the desire to flee. But where to. And I respect the need to fight. But it's tiring.
So I guess I internalized Hermione Granger or Luna Lovegood in preparation for the fight I need to ensue upon. They never gave in and was unabashedly themselves, and with pride. Maybe I was taken to "Veronika decides to die" because the universe knew it was imperative to myself one day understanding the world differently. Or maybe these books shaped the person I am today. What do you know? If I read princess diaries or shopaholic, maybe I would be be eager to walk down the aisle. But , I read all those books too. Those women were strong too. They have my respect.
I am no rebel. I just think, it is up to me to decide my happy ending. I am stubborn about it. And that entails listening to my heart every time, she screams, " I don't wanna marry, dude".
I can deal with the panic attacks and paranoia to give her what she wants. I owe her big time. Also, I don't think I need to feel guilty about disappointing a society who forgets that I'm a freaking good doctor, an amazing friend and devilish fun to be around, only because I desisted one of its laws. I only hope I am strong enough. And maybe I am enough. You never know. Do ya?
Vizag gas leak -measures to be taken and avoid them.
A major gas leak at a polymer plant near Visakhapatnam has killed eleven people and affected thousands in the area. Styrene gas, used for making polystyrene plastic, fiberglass, rubber and latex, leaked from LG Polymers India Pvt. Ltd.’s plant at RR Venkatapuram village in Gopalapatnam in the wee hours of Thursday, affecting villages in a five-km radius. A refrigeration unit, attached to two styrene gas tanks, malfunctioned while the facility was being prepped up for reopening after easing of lockdown restrictions. At least 246 persons with health complications are undergoing treatment &20 of them are on ventilator support. According to sources, the gas leak happened when workers at the plant were making preparations for reopening of the facility after easing of lockdown restrictions. Right to Life of the victims has been grossly violated. At a time when human lives across the country are at stake due to Covid-19 pandemic, the gruesome tragedy has come as a bolt from the blue for the people. According to the health department the precautions which can be taken during a gas leak are :
- Move away from the site location as fast as you can.
- Wear wet cloth or mask to cover nose&mouth.
- Wash eyes with clean water.
- Take milk/banana/jaggery to neutralise the effect.
- Do not consume uncovered food or drinks.
- Take medical help immediately if breathlessness and vomiting sensation is observed.
- Do not panic and don’t pay attention to unofficial,hoax news.
These incidents can be avoided if there is no Corporate Negligence ,no under-maintained and decaying facilities, avoid weak attitude towards safety, and have trained workforce. Such plants should have adequate investments,equipments and regulations. Safety audits must also be conducted regularly to avoid such cases. Prevention is always better than cure. Thus stay home,stay safe and take steps to avoid such cases.
Youth Empowerment Foundation.
The old priest Peter Gilligan
Was weary night and day;
For half his flock were in their beds,
Or under green sods lay.
Once, while he nodded on a chair,
At the moth-hour of eve,
Another poor man sent for him,
And he began to grieve.
'I have no rest, nor joy, nor peace,
For people die and die';
And after cried he, 'God forgive!
My body spake, not I!'
He knelt, and leaning on the chair
He prayed and fell asleep;
And the moth-hour went from the fields,
And stars began to peep.
They slowly into millions grew,
And leaves shook in the wind;
And God covered the world with shade,
And whispered to mankind.
Upon the time of sparrow-chirp
When the moths came once more.
The old priest Peter Gilligan
Stood upright on the floor.
'Mavrone, mavrone! the man has died
While I slept on the chair';
He roused his horse out of its sleep,
And rode with little care.
He rode now as he never rode,
By rocky lane and fen;
The sick man's wife opened the door:
'Father! you come again!'
'And is the poor man dead?' he cried.
'He died an hour ago.'
The old priest Peter Gilligan
In grief swayed to and fro.
'When you were gone, he turned and died
As merry as a bird.'
The old priest Peter Gilligan
He knelt him at that word.
'He Who hath made the night of stars
For souls who tire and bleed,
Sent one of His great angels down
To help me in my need.
'He Who is wrapped in purple robes,
With planets in His care,
Had pity on the least of things
Asleep upon a chair.'
नेटवर्क मार्केटिंग को बनाएं कमाई का जरिया,देश से बेरोजगारी को दूर भगाएं ।
कोरोना संकट के चलते देश की आर्थिक व्यवस्था चरमरा गयी है । कई फैक्ट्रियां और कारखाने बंद होने से बेरोजगारों की संख्या मे भी तेजी के साथ बेतहाशा वृद्धि हुई है । ऐसे मे लोगों के सामने रोजी रोटी का संकट पैदा हो गया है । देश की आर्थिक व्यवस्था को एक बार फिर से पटरी पर लाने के लिए देशवासियों को आत्मनिर्भर बनने की आवश्यकता है । ऐसे मे नेटवर्क मार्केटिंग आपके लिए एक बेहतर विकल्प साबित हो सकता है,इसे कैरियर के रूप मे भी अपनाया जा सकता है । अपने साथ दूसरों को भी इसमें शामिल करके उन्हें क्माने का मौका दिया जा सकता है । नेटवर्क मार्केटिंग निःसंदेह देश से बेरोजगारी की समस्या को जड़ से दूर कर सकती है । बस जरूरत है इसे धैर्यपूर्वक लगातार मेहनत से किए जाने की ।आज हम आपको ऐसे हीं एक नेटवर्क मार्केटिंग बिजनेस के बारे मे बताने जा रहे हैं जिसमें बिना कोई पैसा लगाए फ्री मे ज्वाइन किया जा सकता है । और थोड़ी सी मेहनत,लगन और जुनून से काम करने पर आप बड़ी आसानी से महीने के हजारों,लाखों की कमाई कर सकते हैं ।
प्ले स्टोर से Mall 91 ऐप को डाउनलोड करके ई मेल आईडी से साइनअप कर लीजिए अपनी कम्प्लीट डिटेल सबमिट कीजिए मोबाइल नंबर मे अपना एक्टिव व्हाट्सएप नंबर डालिए रेफरल कोड मे *9KETQAV* डालिए । रेफरल कोड डालना बहुत जरूरी है । इसके बाद आपकी आईडी एक्टिव हो जाएगी और आपको बोनस के रूप मे 3/= भी मिल जाएंगे,जिसे आप अपने पेटीएम एकाउंट मे तुरंत ट्रान्सफर भी कर सकते हैं ।
इसके बाद आप घर बैठकर पार्ट टाइम या फुल टाइम आनलाइन वर्क करके महीने के 10 से 25 हजार रुपए तक बड़े आराम से कमा सकते हैं । इस एप्लीकेशन मे आप स्क्रैच,स्पिन,गेम खेलकर,आनलाइन शापिँग मोबाइल रीचार्च करके रेफर करके और साथ हीं और भी कई प्रकार से इन्कम कर सकते हैं । आज हीं कीजिए ज्वाइन और बेरोजगारी को देश से बाहर भगाने मे कीजिए अपना महान योगदान ।
JAMMU & KASHMIR STUDENTS EVACUATION
CHANDIGARH: JAMMU & KASHMIR students stuck chandigarh | Mohali and other areas because of the coronavirus . The students, enrolled in different programmes, had stayed back due to their examinations in March and thought they would return to their homes in Jammu & Kashmir once the lockdown was over, one of them said.We had no clue that the lockdown would last so long and the situation would worsen here in chandigarh also in terms of the coronavirus outbreak. We have run out of money and food supplies, the banks are not working, going out is a risk because the city is a COVID-19 hotspot and back home our families are also worried for us,” Umar Reyaz,. "We have reached out to our public representatives in chandigarh named as KASHMIR STUDENT UNION , operating currently by Mr Tehleel Manzoor ,
Tehleel Manzoor and other representative of Chandigarh helped JAMMU & KASHMIR students to evacuate from chandigarh .
Two Buses left from Kharar today around 3:30 pm.
His Gratitude and Thanks to all the supporters and representatives from chandigarh